Mytots

Ok, this is kind of late, I’m pretty busy lately but I was able to watched Twilight. I’m one of those fans of the book that can’t wait to watch the movie. I watched it first online, yeah as in I can’t wait then I watched it again in the movie house on its first showing day and showing time, di naman excited di ba. I was kind of disappointed when I watched it online, it was so dragging that almost fell asleep. I thought maybe it was the fact that the video was crappy but then when I watched it in the movie house, still I have the same impression…boring and so dragging.

 It doesn’t have the same feeling when you read the book and you watched the movie, when I read the book I was so bangag for days that all I can think about was the book, I can’t even function very well, I was like in a dreamy state for days, when I watched the movie, I don’t have the hangover, in fact it made me sober with all this Twilight fantasy that I have.

 But then again, maybe I was disappointed with the movie because I put too much expectation to it. And my favorite lines and scenes were not there and some of it was changed.  And some scenes were not the way I imagined. And of course the characters were not as beautiful as described in the book.

Of course there are some good parts in the movie, I love the soundtrack, I already have a copy of it and I keep on playing it on my ipod. I also like the prom scene, the gazebo and the breathtaking view was awesome.  The scene where Edward was wearing sunglasses was cute and the lovey-dovey in the pine trees was also romantic.

But I hoped that they didn’t changed the cafeteria scenes especially on the part were Edward and Bella sat together and discussed Bella’s theories about Edward, well especially the line “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.” I really like that line and scene. And all the cuddling and the breathtaking kisses should also be present.

I also read that they are planning already for a movie for New Moon, I really don’t know what they will going to do with it because I don’t really like the story of New Moon, less Edward and all the katangahan of Bella, plus the super mushy lines on the last part of the book. But we will see…with a bigger budget baka gumanda ang story hehehehe…

I don’t like moving out from a place I like and used to. Pero wala kaming choice ng sister ko. We need to move out to our boarding house that we stayed for three years. I really like that boarding house, it’s not really your usual boarding house with bunk beds and etc… we have our own room with cr, I rent it with my sister, tig-isa kami ng bed, and the bed was so comfortable, pwede kang mag taebo sa size ng room, we also have cable tv, wifi internet and unlimited use of aircon. And the food was really great, you have kimchi, another side dish, rice, soup andmain dish, with dessert pa, well it cost P 100 nga lang.

And the people there inside the house were really nice, and we can tolerate our Korean boardmates. Not to mention it’s really very near to commercial areas, malls and even to my school. Pero ganun talaga ang buhay, the only constant is change, my sister will move back to Manila in sometime January and I can’t afford to rent it alone, so we really need to look for another place. Luckily we found one that we also like but of course it’s different from our old boarding house.

But I already missed living there, I went to visit there to get the things we left behind, and when I entered the gate, Obie, the Black Labrador dog that guard the house still recognized me, and of course all the manang’s that take care of the boarding house that became my friends welcome me. Ah, I learned that our room is still vacant and a lot of new Korean faces too. The pingpong table was still there, I already missed playing pingpong there. And Sneakers, the Poodle-half-Bisaya dog is still shy and he still smells badly. Ah, nothing really change (well, it is only a week when we move out), but I missed living there already. Ah that’s life I guess. But I’ll definitely come to visit again!

Okay, the last episode of GOSSIP GIRL was like, OMG! Well for me! I read some spoilers about it before I watched it, like it’s going to be Nate and Jenny, well first I thought it was disgusting, Taylor Momsen, the girl who played Jenny was like 15 and Chace Crawford who played Nate was like 23 and Taylor really look so young. But I change my mind after I watched the whole episode. Nate was so sweet with Jenny and their kiss was so damn HOT! I was actually so kilig with their scenes together (they look so cute together), hahahahah yah I know I’m weird hahahaha. Okay, I really don’t know why I feel so kilig, maybe because Chace Crawford was so hot! And the age difference in the series was not really that far, I mean Jenny was like 15 and Nate is 18? Maybe it’s weird at first because Nate was like everybody’s boyfriend, from Blair, a fling with Serena, to Vanessa and the Duchess and now Jenny…kulang na lang ako hahaha!And Nate was like your older guy that you have a crush on, if I’m Jenny, I really would have a crush on Nate because he’s really cute althougha little confuse at times but still he’s cute, and then be able to live the same house with him…damn that’s torture hahahaha! He’s really hot!

But I really think I’m just jealous of Taylor Momsen. SHE KISSED CHACE CRAWFORD! A damn her hahahhaha! And that was a hell of a kiss! So damn hot! Anyway I prefer Chace Crawford over Zac Efron, besides he’s just two years younger than I do, I think he’s hotter, Zac was too Disney to me.

Last night I also got to watched BETTY LA FEA, and really a very funny episode. The scene where they showed the video of the Ecomoda models and then the supposed erased part where Betty was saying “ I love you” to Armando in the camera was also shown in the launching of models and then si Betty hinimatay…hinimatay sa kahihiyan hahahahahahaha! That was so funny, although some parts are weird like they didn’t review the video before playing it in the launching, and just only one dvd? Dapat not only you have a back up in your computer but also burned 2-3 copies of it. But still funny pa rin.And I love the signature line of Daniela…GO! Hahahahahaha! That’s it for now…walang HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER na new episode e hehehehe!

Okies…Jologs na kung JOLOGs, but the reason why I attended the Masskara Festival is because of John Lloyd Cruz…hahhahahaha…ang showbiz. I love this guy even before Tabing Ilog days…well minus his ka love teams of course( I’m not really a fan of love teams) although only two of his movies ang pinanood ko sa movie house the rest I watched in Cinema One. But of course the reason why I’m so into him is because of A Very Special Love, I love that movie no matter what other people say( see…kung ano ako ka jologs hahaha!).

Then just last week, my sister read in the local newspaper that he is coming in Bacolod City, hala super duper excited! At first I’m really willing to watch him in Robinsons Place and even in Gaisano City, but then my sister’s friend informed us that he is going to eat his dinner at Skoro Garden Restaurant, I really have no idea where is that place, e alam ko lang e  Imay’s at Aboys. So we planned out to go there, then luckily another friend of my sister knows the owner of the restaurant and reserved us a table, o di ba ang saya-saya!

But then, I’m too excited that I accompanied my mother to Robinsons Place, of course ano lang yun front lang na samahan ko sya, pero talaga e manonood ako kay John Lloyd hahahahaha. Pero super dami ng tao, so we left at nag pa beauty rest na lang.

We went at Skoro around 6:30 PM, akalain mo walang taxi, super layo pa ng nilakad namin just to ride a taxi, e naka heels ako! At ang layo pala nitong Skoro, not really that far, pero medyo malayo na sa proper. So we ordered together with my sister’s friends at walang kamatayang naghintay sa pagdating ni John Lloyd. And at last around 8 PM dumating din sya, e di medyo starstruck, pero he’s  really so mahiyain, parang di sanay sa tao, weird! E ako super kapal ng mukha, di pa sya nakakain e lumapit na ako, buti na lang konti lang talaga ang mga tao, compared sa Robinsons na super dami talaga, nagpapicture talaga ako kaagad, naiwan yung mga kasama ko kasi naman nahihiya sila. Ngayon ko lang na realize na makapal talaga mukha ko hahhahaha! E di happy na ako, I have a picture na with him. I don’t know kung manager nya yun, but he promised na John Lloyd will take a picture with us, patapusin lang sya mag dinner, so pinakain nga namin sya. Ayun, after mag dinner, nagpapapicture-picture na nga sya, nagpa-group picture pa kami with him. Then before siya umalis, nag pose talaga sa harap ng camera ko, e hinarang ko ang daanan e hahahahaha…tange talaga ako!

 Haay grabe, I can’t get enough with him, matapos naming dumaan sa event ng Smart, umuwi na kami tapos pag open ko ng TV, naku sya pa rin nakikita ko, hehehehe, kasi sya ang guest ng Banana Split hehehe. Pero hanggang ngayon, super di ko sya maalis sa isip ko. Haay…sabay kanta ng ..pangarap ka na lang ba o magiging katotohanan pa…Betty style hahahha. Tama na to oi!

For the last two weeks, I’ve been doing my thesis manuscript like hell because the deadline was yesterday. I actually able to passed, and I’m one of the few whose work is complete (with all the paging, editing, chapters etc…). But you know, I was already cramming, I did the survey, analysis, editing for just two weeks, well mostly the important parts. It was my fault anyway, I was like not in the mood to do it, inspiration was leaving me, but then I got it back after my birthday, thank God it was not that too late.

My thesis was actually about a local ice cream parlor. But I still can count the number of parfait that I eaten for the whole semester (I love parfait!). I was actually lucky that the owner and the crew were very accommodating and amiable. It was easy to get information and make tambay there to do my survey. But my golly, I make tambay at the ice cream parlor for more than 5 hours in both Saturday and Sunday and few hours on weekdays just to finish my survey. Of course while making tambay, I ordered my favorite parfait, nyahahahahaha!

While making the manuscript, I can’t actually count the number of coffee I drink for the last two weeks. I used to drink the very strong one but then I got headaches when I drink it, that’s why I was only drinking the original flavor nowadays. But still I’m not a coffee addict pa naman nyahahaha!

I also feel very lucky to know friends back in UP, now I know how important the relationship that you invest. I was able to ask their help and they were able to lend their expertise to me. Even they were in Manila, I was able to communicate with them through internet chatting. It’s really cool you know, because the world becomes smaller. Even my sister is in UK, she was able to help me in editing my questionnaire and application letter, my other sister is in our hometown and she also edit my work and sent it through email. I really can’t live now without the Internet!

Ah…thank God I was able to finish the manuscript. It was only the beginning, because I still have the second semester for the designing, lay-out and of course the thesis defense. Ah damn…I can’t think about it now, all I can think now, is when I’m going to read the Eclipse, I already have a copy and its hardbound nyahahahahah! And I want to go home in my home town; it was almost a month since I went home. And I want to eat, not ice cream and coffee anymore but real food this time and I have to get back to the gym hehehehehe. But then again, no more cramming for me, it’s my last semester and I’m going to do my best nyahahaha!

I actually don’t know what to say. I’m a year older but I don’t know if I actually grown. It’s just like I was stuck. When everybody moved on with their lives, it’s like I’m still lingering to the past and can’t help but to hate myself. I still can’t forgive and accept myself.

I’m the only one who makes it harder for myself. It’s been years. It’s time to move on. I should accept the fact that I can’t change the past and the only thing that I can do is to face the things that will happen in the future. I know it’s a waste to dwell on the past but still l can’t help myself. I’m only human after all.

Why is it really hard for me to love myself? I have layers and layers of self issues that I’m still carrying until now. I keep on dwelling on self pity and jealousy. I just can’t be thankful of what I have but instead I keep on complaining on the things that I don’t have.

I must be blind after all. I only see what I wanted to see. I just can’t see how lucky I am. I must be stupid despite of my intelligence. But it’s not too late right? I want to believe that there is no such thing as too late and definitely things will get better. And there will come a time that I will finally forgive and truly accept myself. I’m only human who commit mistakes but I deserve to be forgiven and there’s only one me, and that me doesn’t deserve to be hated but instead, that me should be loved. It will not be now, but definitely that time will come.

Weeks ago, I chatted with my cousin. She told me that she already picked a date for her wedding and it is on December and I’m one of the bridesmaid…OMYGAWD! Actually, I’m the one who ask her to make me one of the bridesmaid so that I can have a reason to lose weight, but December was like 3-4 months away, so “sala ang utot ko” nyahahahaha!

Last Saturday, I end up making a decision that I think will be life changing. I ENROLLED MYSELF TO A GYM! I mean a real fitness gym this time. This is my birthday present for myself. Yeah right, I should have done it years ago, but you know me, always the “sala ang utot” attitude nyahahaha!

My first day of gym, I was actually doing fine, I did 5 cardio machines that day like the stationary bike, rowing, elliptical, transport and the treadmill. I like rowing, it’s not that difficult and I actually enjoy doing it. I don’t really like the elliptical, although it burns a lot of calories compared to the four but it is very tiring. I burned more than 700 calories that day, well according to the machines nyahahhahaha. After working out for almost 3 hours I was starving like hell. Of course I can’t eat just anything. I’m back on my vegetables, fruit, less carbohydrate diet plus of course after 6 diet. On that day, I actually catch a cold, which only lasted for 2 days.

On my second day, I still went even I still have a mild cold, I thought I’m going to do the same exercises, but then my instructor already made my new program, well, it still has the cardio exercises except the stationary bike and add up abdominal exercises (dunno kung yan ang tawag diyan, pero most of it was centered on my abdomen), and the thing that I really hate is the inclined leg raises, akalain mo 50-100 counts! SUSMEYO, super hirap abutin ng 50! PWAMIS! But then I able to do all the exercises, I don’t think I can go home if I didn’t finish all the exercises. So, I was at the gym for almost 3 hours pa rin. Then of course I’m starving again. I went to the nearest restaurant. Of course I ordered a salad, at super mahal ha! Bat ba ang mahal magpapayat? Then when I went back to my boarding house I went to bed and I was like, I can’t get up anymore. But then I still went to the gym the next day and I only have 1 absent since Monday.

WHOAAAH! Grabe ang dedikasyon, my sister di naniniwala that I will last for 1 month, we will see! TOTOHANAN na to! Besides I’m not getting younger anymore and I really need to have a healthy lifestyle. Naks! Ibang klase…nyahahahahaha! I don’t want this birthday present go to waste, I will definitely do my best, kahit ibig sabihin I will do more than a thousand counts of inclined leg raises hahahahahaha!

Ok, pasahan na pala ng thesis manuscript on the last day of month, it will be difficult to keep going to the gym at this crucial time but I’m going to do my best. AJA! AJA!

Eight days to go before I turn 25. Damn! I’m not getting younger anymore. But it’s just a number right? It’s more than a number to me. Everybody is getting married and getting pregnant while I’m still stuck with my own little world. What’s the problem with “my own little world”? I’m still drowning to self pity, jealousy and I think too much. But it’s just me. I will never be Cindy without those three.

Change…of course I want to change. I can’t be like this forever. I want to believe that there are good things going to happen, if not now, then in the near future. I just have to stay positive always. I can’t let these negative feelings win. I have to stay focus. I know that everything is going to be alright. Everything will get better. And I need to hold on for the sake of the people who love me and for myself. So, hold on CINDY! JUST HOLD ON!

Here is an excerpt of a song that I really like. It’s called “HOLD ON” by Wilson Phillips:

I know there’s pain
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains
No one can change your life except for you
Don’t ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside

Some day somebody’s gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you gonna let ‘em hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know
Don’t you know things’ll change
Things’ll go your way
If you Hold On for one more day
Can you Hold On for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold On for one more day

Ok, I have no plan to watch it, it’s just that I’m bored, and crazy stuffs come to my mind when I’m bored. I watched FOR THE FIRST TIME! I know I know I’m JOLOGS blah blah blah… I actually paid for my ticket and it cost P100 (usually movie tickets only cost P80 here in Bacolod) and it’s not really that worth it. I don’t really like it that much and a quite dragging too. I like A VERY SPECIAL LOVE much much better…it’s corny and all and quite bitin but still it’s enough that I got entertained.

But I like the sceneries, it’s not the same island in MAMMA MIA, but still it looks so good to have a vacation there. I was also surprised that KC and Richard don’t really have that onscreen chemistry, I just don’t feel the kilig even they look comfortable to each other doing lovey-dovey scenes. Another surprise is KC’s wardrobe, what’s with all the boobies? But I admit that she looks good. And I can really feel there’s a pressure on the way KC acted on the movie, poor her to bear all the pressure and expectations of other people because she’s a daughter of Sharon Cuneta.

Enough with my FOR THE FIRST TIME ranting, GOSSIP GIRL is back! Second Season just premiered last September 1, and I just watched it yesterday and it’s actually good. Ok, I might spill out some spoilers. Anyway, Chuck looks good in episode 1. Maybe it’s the hair hehehe. Blair and Serena are getting lovelier. What’s with boy toy thing with Nate? And Dan, he’s into gym I guess nowadays hehehe.

And oh, Blair is so adorable for trying to make Chuck jealous, and her new guy was not from Princeton or Georgetown but a British Lord…whew! Poor Chuck, it’s his fault anyway, for ditching Blair in the last episode of Season 1. I really like Eric for being so nice with Jenny, I just wish he is not gay and end up with Jenny…wishful thinking! I’m glad that Serena and Dan were together again…I don’t want Serena to be with Nate, and Nate, he is a lost soul hahahaha, I just wish he will not get stupid and be serious with his new girl, who is married by the way. And I guess I’ll be seeing more of Chuck and Blair trying to avoid what is obvious…that they belong to each other hahahahaha!

I watched the second episode trailer and it is quite promising, I hope it will be much better than I expected.

I’m more into Asian Series than American Series, because American Series comes into season into season, you don’t know when it will end, unlike Asian series that has only one season. That’s why, watch ko lang, two American Series, one is GOSSIP GIRL, and then HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.

GOSSIP GIRL, well, is all about the lives of those pampered rich kids in New York, it’s all about bitchy stuff etc…but pretty entertaining, I even cried on some episodes. On HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, is all about Ted telling his kids how he met their mother. I watched it because I’m bored not because I’m curious but surprisingly I find it very funny. I watched it when I able to catch it on Star World and ETC, not really that I make an effort to catch it on TV. It’s just everytime I opened the TV and change the channel to Star World or ETC, there you go, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. But now I have a copy of season 1 and 3, too bad out of stock ang season 2.

Anyway, I LOVE TED! I mean I love Barney because he is so funny, you know his lines like “SUIT UP!” and “LEGEN…DARY”are very funny, but still I love Ted. He’s an architect in New York (if I can’t be an architect then I marry one), he loves women who love dogs, he’s a good friend, romantic and can be OA sometimes and he is serious about things. Oh my, he’s MY TEDDY BEAR! Hahahhaha! Ok I also love Marshall, he’s very dedicated to Lily and he’s also funny. I don’t really like Robin! At first I really like her because she’s pretty and has a strong personality but the truth is she’s very vulnerable, I like Victoria over her, too bad they didn’t make her stay, kahitsana ibalik siya sa season 3 as guest, ok sana. And of course Lily, sweet Lily,she’s really sweet hehehehehe!

But still I love Ted! I know I’m still not over with Edward Cullen. But Teddy Bear was close to reality hehehehe! Season 4 is on the corner, so I think I have something to lookforward to this sembreak.